The Importance Of Balance

We are now resuming our blog on a more regular basis, as we aim to provide consistent updates. I often find myself wishing I had a greater passion for writing, as I believe I have a compelling story to share with those pursuing their dreams or navigating challenging times. When I informed Abie about my appointment at AmaZulu, he was thrilled, and I started writing again. However, I encountered difficulties and couldn't finish.

It has been two years since my last blog post, and a lot has happened during that time. The first year was filled with valuable lessons, while the second year involved some conflicts. I hope to convey the same messages as in my previous blogs and keep you engaged until the end. I want to provide insights into the challenging world of pursuing dreams, the sacrifices required, and achieving a balance between personal and professional life—an area in which I could have done better.

Chasing one's dreams is a difficult journey, accompanied by obstacles and the need for personal growth. You will face individuals who try to undermine you and make you doubt your abilities. However, you will also encounter people who support you and stand by you during tough times. Over the past two years, I have experienced both types of individuals. Interestingly, the supportive ones were cautioned against, yet they proved to be the ones who consistently stood behind me, ensuring a conducive work environment.

In 2021, I found myself without a team and had the opportunity to coach an U13 team comprising 11-year-olds. It was a new challenge for me, as I had to transition these young boys from playing 9 v 9 to 11 v 11 on a full-size pitch. Although I was initially apprehensive, the boys demonstrated remarkable progress and played exceptional football. However, off-field issues arose when Brylon moved to Pietermaritzburg to play for Maritzburg United, coinciding with the time I finished my exams. I thought it would be a good break to help Brylon move, which meant I would be away from the team for a week and return for their weekend game. Due to my absence from training, I attended the game as a supporter and observed from the stands, taking notes. Perhaps my mistake was not greeting the individuals I should have, but I don't believe it warranted being called in for a disciplinary committee meeting. At that point, I had already submitted my resignation. Consequently, I was perceived as the culprit, and it was suggested that I ruined the team's chances of promotion to the Gauteng Development League. However, we accepted the situation and moved forward.

In 2022, I joined a different team—one with a more established background and a search for qualified coaches. It was an exciting opportunity for me, even though the stipend I received didn't cover my travel expenses to and from training. I cherished every moment, and I was appointed as the U13 Head coach after one of the coaches was relieved of his duties. Despite being warned about coaching committee members' kids, they turned out to be the most supportive throughout the year. It was undoubtedly a challenging year as a coach, with parents calling me in and writing lengthy letters, questioning my decisions. I even faced a situation where a player swore at me, which was difficult to handle. However, despite these challenges, the support I received from the parents was immense. I am grateful for their confidence in me, as they even offered me the U19 GDL post, which came with several benefits. Unfortunately, my tenure in that position was short-lived because a significant opportunity I had been waiting for finally came to fruition.

One of the major issues in pursuing a dream is that personal life often takes a back seat. We become engrossed in achieving our goals or we use our passion as an escape from personal problems. In my case, it was the latter—I used my dreams to avoid romantic relationships due to past experiences. However, this is not an excuse; I simply prioritized my ambitions over building a personal connection. People came and went from my life, either because I was too focused on my work or because I ran away from them. I became so consumed by my work that I lost touch with myself. When I finally allowed someone into my life, I was emotionally detached and self-centered. This was problematic because I genuinely enjoy being in love, but as I grow older, I find it increasingly challenging to invest in relationships. At 32 years old, soon to be 33, it becomes harder to work on relationships and I tend to run away at the slightest sign of trouble. This is why achieving a balance between personal and professional life is crucial. We must live our lives while pursuing our dreams because isolating ourselves makes it difficult to open up and become vulnerable to someone we genuinely want to keep in our lives. Chasing a dream alone is accompanied by intense emotions, psychological challenges, and a sense of arrogance, as strange as it may sound. Some people claim that it takes a "crazy" person to chase a dream, and I have often pondered the reason behind this. Imagine coming home after being told repeatedly that you're not good enough, with those words constantly replaying in your mind. You sit alone in a dark room, pondering those criticisms because, to some extent, you handle these situations on your own. This takes a toll on your mental well-being. However, if you can allow someone to enter your life—someone who not only understands you but can also perceive when things aren't going well—it can make a significant difference. Unfortunately, I didn't have that experience, so I can't provide firsthand insight. Looking back, it is a part of my journey that I feel I missed out on. I would retreat to my room, switch on the PlayStation, put on my headphones, and immerse myself in a world where I had control. Nevertheless, my mother always sensed that something was wrong, as her first question upon seeing me would be, "Are you okay?" It's astonishing how we take such small gestures for granted, but sometimes we desire that care and concern from someone other than a family member or close friend. That was something I yearned for but couldn't allow into my life.

Your personal life should be separate from your professional life. Live, love, laugh, but never forget your vision. Surround yourself with people who not only understand and believe in your vision but also provide unwavering support. On those challenging days, you should feel comfortable turning to them to vent because they are your safe haven. I found such people, and I found my dream in both my personal and professional life. Being a coach at AmaZulu and experiencing the love I had longed for were significant achievements. However, there were personal issues that I had kept hidden behind my work, and I should have addressed them instead of immersing myself solely in my professional endeavors. Every situation is a learning opportunity, and how we learn from these experiences is crucial. We can either grow through them or allow them to break us.

I will always believe in love, and I hope I won't need to seek it again because I have found it. I know you have all been waiting for the AmaZulu journey, and I promise it will come in due time. I believe this story needed to be told, and I hope it makes sense to you.

Brice Petersen